What to say to someone who's feeling down
I don’t understand the likes that I get here, on this blog. I mean most are new people, on each post. Most of the times. Each post brings with it, its own set of people. And each time I wonder, did the people who like the post, actually like it, or I don’t know they somehow ended up here, and just liked it.
It matters to me, that you like the post, for its content, for what it meant to you. If not, if you somehow ended up here, thinking, this was going to be about something else, then, you don’t have to like stuff. I guess you don’t have to either ways. Okay, this has dragged on for too long now.
This was supposed to lead to a point, where I say this to you. It’s very uncommon for me, to have a single set of reader(s) liking multiple posts on the blog. It has happened in the past, but the occurrence is rare. For the couple of posts before the last one, I had a visitor like two posts in continuation, and so I was intrigued. I also happened to have the time necessary to satiate my intrigue. And so, I went to this visitor’s blog, to pay them a visit, to learn of their story. To fill in the blanks as to why they might have liked my posts.
This post is inspired, in part, by what I saw there. The rest of it, is filled with the stuff in my head, with how I’ve behaved with the people I love, share my life with.
We, as, people, are capable of a whole range, a whole variety of emotions. It ranges from anger, to disgust, contains sadness, and happiness, and a myriad of other definitions. Life gives us a number of scenarios, scenes, moments, to feel, feel one way, or the other. And marvel at it. Marvel at our capacity for emotion. And marvel, at how everything in the universe is relative to how we are feeling at that particular moment. The same things that irritate you usually, each day, which are part of your routine, can seem out of the ordinary, can even amuse you, when you are happy. That’s the power of emotion, and that’s the gift, the fun part of being humans. Of course, it also puts a burden upon us, to make sure, that we are in charge of ourselves, and don’t do things when the emotion is in charge. It becomes important hence, to realize, and recognize the emotion, when it arrives, while it rages on, and to make sure that nothing which can have an impact longer than the moment in which it lives, is made. We are better than that, aren’t we? We are the cognitive animals. We have the power of thought, and reason.
One of the emotions, one of the states of being, is one in which you are down, despondent. Life, as you knew it has been destroyed. Nothing seems to be working out. The future seems either bleak, or non-existent. All that you want to do in those moments, is quit.
It takes guts, when you are in such a state, when nothing makes sense to you, when you don’t even know if you need any help, to talk to somebody. It takes guts, to put yourself on the line like that. Look there are two sorts of people, one who like to struggle by their own selves, who do not like to share, who like to solve their problems on their own. And then there are those who could do with a little help. Talking always helps. Unsaid things, kill things. Be it people, or relations. Alright, so, yes, it takes guts to put yourself on the line like that, to open yourself to somebody else, to give somebody the power to make, or break you.
The visitor I visited, had her latest post about something of the sort. The comments I read, were mostly positive, telling her that things would be alright, that this too shall pass. You get the zest, yes?
I do not think, that is what you want to hear. I do not think I would want to hear that if I were feeling down, and depressed. When you trust a person with your struggles and all you get is a ‘it’ll be alright’. When you expect a person to understand you, and all you get is ‘you should do this’. Because whenever you say something like ‘you should do this’, you are basically telling them something that would work for you. Not them. You. They don’t need that.
I think, all that a person needs, in times such as these, is an assurance, that you understand. That you are listening to them, and maybe the tragedy they face is too big, or too different from what you’ve seen in your life, still, you understand, their brevity, their courage, their struggles. They don’t need to know that ‘it’ll be alright’, they already know it. All of us do. It’s obvious. Life works like that, good, and bad, in tandem. They don’t need to know what to do either, for that too, comes from within their own selves. They know the answers. All that they need, in those moments, is you, listening.
Listening is tough, being there is difficult. Let’s do it though. It’d be worth your time, and effort. Pinky swear!
P.S. On an entirely unconnected note, I’ve altered the scheduled from Mon-Fri-Sat to Tue-Fri-Sun. It seems better this way. Friday is the last day of work, and Sunday is a holiday, so. This too, can change however, like all things, good, and bad, in life.
